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After a frustrating year on the tenure-track job hunt, my eyes are still on the prize, and I've learned that sheer will might be the most important quality required for this career track.
My posts are presented as opinion and commentary and do not represent the views of LabSpaces Productions, LLC, my employer, or my educational institution.
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Well, I finally made it back into the lab this week. Not for bench work, but to visit the boss and labmates, talk to a few people about when I'll be back to doing lab work, and pick up some papers for writing a review I've been putting off for months now. The Monkey came with me, of course, and everyone cooed at him. (I know I should learn how to say thank you when people tell me how cute he is, but I can't help but say "I know". What can I say, I'm a proud mama!)
It was a short visit, and I couldn't spend more than a few seconds in the actual lab since I had the Monkey with me. I had also looked forward to some lab talk with my science peeps, but, maybe expectedly, it all ended up being baby talk. It was nice to have face-to-face conversations, even if they were dominated by diapers, feedings, naps, and other baby-related stuff. I'm slowly accepting that these are the center of my life, for now at least. I've tried working on science these past couple of weeks, but I can't seem to get much work done in the hour-long snippets that the Monkey and household chores allow. Maybe it's for the best, but I can't help but feel quite a bit of guilt about it all. Even this blog has been taken over by baby talk, and my post frequency has slowed down a bit. With the recent grumblings regarding dead weight around here and the exodus of some of my favorite LS bloggers, I'm now starting to worry that my new focus is affecting how my blog is perceived.
I'd like to say that I'll be back to my old blogging self soon, but I just can't promise something like that. My life is inexorably linked to this little guy now, as will be my blogging. I got into this gig to provide stress relief and learn how to balance my work and personal life. This means I've written about whatever was demanding the majority of my energy, time, and thoughts - whether it was grants, job searches, postdoc doom-and-gloom, conception problems, or marriage. These days it's the Monkey, and the quest to reclaim my old lab-jockeying, job-searching, grant-writing, tenure-track-searching self.
It's very likely that this is an over-reaction by a hyper-sensitive and hormonal new mom feeling guilty about everything. As such, I'll leave a decision on this matter to my readers, fellow bloggers, and our dear Overlord. Despite some of the issues that have arisen over here in the past few months, I love blogging on LabSpaces, and I hope to keep my fairly new home permanent. If change is needed, however, I'll certainly make my way back to Blogger with no hard feelings.
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congrats on making it back to the lab! Don't worry, after you go in a few more times people will start talking science at you again. Right now just enjoy the grown-up conversations, even if they are about diapers :)
Give yourself some credit-that was really quick. You will soon settle into a new "normal", and the lab stuff will go a lot more smoothly. Until then, just realize that you are doing a fantastic job (and lose the guilt). I found that after Mini-G was born my priorities were all rearranged. I found my new "balance" but I was never again "my old self". And that is OK, because I like the new self.
BTW, if you are made to feel like you don't have a home here b/c of Monkey, then I'm out of here too. That would be ridiculous and I homestly don't think that that is what anyone has in mind.
Um, it would be weird if the blog WASN'T taken over by Monkey talk right now. Talk about whatever you want--I'll keep reading!
Stay. Please. As I tried to point out in a forum thread, blogging can be a very sporadic enterprise. We all have lives and blogging is not (and should not be) a number one priority. Write when you can.
I love the fact that you post about your life as a whole rather than just science - it's nice to get to know the real people behind the "scientist", you know? I also second Gerty-Z's comment that you'll probably never be your old self, but the new self is just that much better because Monkey is in your life!
Yeah, I was definitely in an overly sensitive mood last night. I appreciate the comments supporting my Monkey-focused blog. :) I just got worried that I wasn't staying science-focused enough for LS, especially with all the frustrations I'm having being away from work. I want to stay, and I want LS to succeed; I just didn't want to be a source of dissatisfaction for other bloggers on the site.
Oh Dr. O!!
YOU AND ME BOTH! (about the dead weight guilt!)
Sometimes life gets in the way of all our best intentions. And trust me when I say that now that you are are Dr. Mom it is probably going to happen more and more. I for one am more than happy to read a Monkey-blog!
Keep up the great work!
Hmmm - if I didn't know who Muschamp was I'd be equally disturbed. ;) Not sure what next year is going to be like for the Horns (you totes should've worked "Horns" into that comment, GR). I'm just hoping the Boys have a good season with Jason Garrett next year.
I'll miss you! But I will definitely catch your other blog! . . .Read More
Updating my blogroll! See you (and Monkey!) back at blogspot! . . .Read More
I am looking forward to reading more about Monkey too. Take care! . . .Read More