[Summary: Thomas Joseph talks about why he went into the field he went into, and gives thanks to his parents.]

I really like this post by Zuska. As a matter of fact, my parents did the very same thing for me. The only exception being that I had to pay my last year of college because my dad was laid off from work* and so my folks couldn't help me with some of my tuition and fees that year. They didn't have to shoulder the entire burden -- I was on a X-C and T&F partial scholarship when we went to Division I my sophomore year, and I did work/study as well -- but they shouldered the majority of it. They wanted to give me a leg up on life, a life without being crushed by student loans the minute I flipped that tassle from right to left on my academic cap. And I couldn't be more grateful to them. Life wasn't always easy in the Joseph household, we were middle class, but that didn't mean times were always peachy. I remember my dad being on strike a few times and having to work odd jobs to keep food on the table, I remember him working 4PM to 12AM shifts for months at a time and him waking up at 6 or 7AM to see us off to school and then not seeing him until the next 6 or 7AM because he was gone by the time we got home from school. I remember racing my sister down the block to my father when we'd see him coming home from work off of the subway. So, when I think of my father, I think of him working. Yes, there were the times we'd go fishing on the weekends, and the vacations in the cabins up in Greene County, but when you boil things down a majority of the memories I have of my father revolve around him supporting the family.

Not to say that isn't a Good Thing (TM), because it's a whole lot better than not having memories of my father at all, or having plenty of unsavory memories of him instead. So I consider myself very fortunate. I also have similar memories of my grandfather whos idea of retirement was to work five days instead of six or seven. If cancer hadn't cut him down at the end, I am convinced he would have worked til the day he died, and he would have enjoyed every minute of it.

And so two of most important figures in my life instilled in me the appreciation for a hard days work, and a job well done. I also grew up in a family where family was the most important thing. There was not a major holiday that went by where we didn't go to my grandparents, or another relatives house (or hosted at our house) and celebrate the holidays with family. I still remember those heated, and loud discussions at the dinner table, where my uncles would try to raise my grandfathers (their fathers) ire. Those are the days I miss the most.

At any rate, my folks didn't want me to live a blue-collar life. Not that it wasn't a respectable living, it most certainly is, but they wanted more for me. They wanted me to get a college education, something neither of my parents had, and be successful. More importantly, they wanted me to be happy. I remember more than one occasion where they told me that they didn't care what I did, as long as I was happy doing it. The conversations went something along these lines:

Me: Mom, what would you say if I dropped out of school and became a garbage man?

Mom: Would you be happy doing it?

Me: I doubt it.

Mom: Well, there ya go.

I am convinced that if I had answered in the affirmative, she would have told me to pursue it. We had these conversations a handful of times during graduate school when I would consider whether it was all worth it or not. For some reason though, I doubt dropping out of undergraduate school would have been an option .

So where am I going with all of this? At an early age I saw the importance of family, and the need to be happy. Sure, you do what you have to because you're committed, and proud of your work, and the fact that doing this supports your family and those who depend on you, but you've got to be happy doing it. If you hate your job and your life, how is that going to help?

In graduate school I saw first hand, very quickly that academia was a grind. My mentor was at work seemingly 24/7, and while he didn't demand that of us, if you spent too many weekends out of the lab totally, you could tell you earned a place on his bad side. I saw the struggles for funding, and then the pressures of keeping the money coming in when the previous funding allowed you to grow a large lab so you didn't have to lay people off. I saw the departmental politics (intra and inter), heard about the politics in the field I worked in and managed to see some of it first hand. Half of it seemed childish, the other seemed likely to threaten careers if allowed to go on for too long. Mostly however, there was the issue of funding. It's all my boss ever did.

That didn't seem like fun to me.

When I started graduate school, I did it because I liked working at the bench. As a Med Tech, about 75% of what you did was automated, but Micro wasn't like that (at the time at any rate). It was bench work, and sleuthing, and it was exciting and a challenge. Research was like clinical micro but only about a million times better. So when I finally got into graduate school and saw behind the scenes that there would be less bench work, and less sleuthing, it seemed to lose its luster. I also didn't want to struggle for funding for the rest of my life. I didn't want to spend 24/7 at the lab either.

I wanted a family. I know there are people who can solidly juggle the two, but in my experiences they were the exception rather than the norm. The people who were the norm were the Dr. Kerns of this life, and they were the kind of idiots I didn't want judging my career at every step, from manuscript peer review, grant reviews, to tenure review. More often, I saw married faculty spend their weekends in the lab, sometimes lament that they were missing a family event. I saw a handful get divorced. I didn't want to go down that route.

So I eschewed academia. I was fortunate to meet a few people during graduate school that pointed me in the right direction of non-academic research and I'd like to think I've flourished in this setting so far. I work my hours, I get to the bench (not as much as I'd like), I get to write my manuscripts, analyse data, formulate more hypotheses and design the coolest experiments I can in an attempt to answer them. I get to do science. And at the end of the day, I leave my work at work. I don't have a family yet, but I see my coworkers who enjoy a balanced life, with both successful careers and happy families**. So I know I'm in a setting where that is attainable.

So what would I say to people like Kern? If he wants to spend his life in the lab, that's fine. I think its an ego thing though, and if thats what gets him up in the morning, so be it. Thats his choice. For me, I've come to a place in my life where I don't need to be remembered forever. I doubt I'll become embedded in history like Jonas Salk, or Robert Koch and I'm fine with that. What I do want is to settle down, have kids and raise them well. My job will help me do that very thing. Do I like my job? Yes, I do, which is why I do it. However, in the end it's just that ... a job. I do it because it pays. I put in my honest effort and my hours, and I do the highest quality work I am capable of (because of pride and because of the values instilled in me at an early age). While I'd be thrilled if I could solve environmental issues which would benefit all mankind by my individual discoveries, I'll take solace in the fact that my work might be one of a thousand stones in the foundation of knowledge which will help move things along. So, I'll do my job and then use the rest of my time as I see fit ... having and raising a family. I may not get to Stockholm for a Nobel, but I'll see plenty of the rest of the world with my family, and to me that is what matters most.

*He and his fellow coworkers won their class action, wrongful termination, lawsuit a couple of years later.

**Obviously I see things from the outside.