I'm drunk, pissed off after dealing with bullshit and to top it off my computer just died and lost this post so I'm rewriting like half of it.

It wouldn't be a normal week unless I was ranting about shit so here we go:

Dear bean counters, finance dudes, and checkwriting ladies,

Fucking pay me!

Its taken you assholes over a month since approving my receipts to reimburse me and to make it worse I had to deal with your bullshit before I even turned them in.  At my institution your travel must be approved before you travel by getting a request form signed by like eighteen different motherfuckers and the shit better be filled in out in the official blue ink and the proper check boxes better be fucking checked or your ass is toast holmes.  So like a good employee I submit my request form ahead of time and get everything filled out and you fucking mongoloids end up loosing the paperwork and almost deny me my travel before I travel.  You accept no fault for this and even blame me for it yet I have email confirmation from you fucking dumpsterbabies that you have received my paperwork.  Finally you scrounge up the paperwork which has some unidentified fucking food stains that you asshole mouthbreathers must have dribbled onto my form while eating your fucking hotpocket for lunch.

Godamn I need a strawberry milkshake.  Sorry that's the booze talking.

So now that these assholes are placated I can book my travel on my own dime, and I also have to conform to your travel requirements that I not spend so much per night for hotel accommodations.  Well the amount that you give me per night for a hotel room might be enough to cover me if I shared a room in a fucking halfway house with a coke dealing prostitute who wanted to go dutch.  After relenting you fucknards actually say that you will reimburse me for decent hotel room rate.

So I go to the conference and do conference shit, you know, show up drunk for sessions, listen to good talks, fall asleep during the shitty ones, piss in the sink because I'm too drunk to make it to the toilet three feet away, you know be fucking professional.  So when I return and submit my receipts to you and you guys finally end up haggling me on them, I figured I would get paid relatively soon.

Fuck no.  I guess you decide to go back and reaudit my fucking receipts.  You give me shit for buying a $2 coke at hotel gift shop, why not go elsewhere and buy cheaper?  Because I'm living out of a hotel room in the conference district of this city you stupid motherfuckers, its not like there is a grocery store within a mile or two of here.  Oh and thanks for giving me grief for the valet parking, it was cheaper than the garages and honestly other folks that parked in those garages and lots got their shit broken into.

Oooh, Genomic RepairWife has appeared with strawberry milkshake, you're the best!

Where was I, oh and fuck you assholes that my itemized receipt isn't itemized enough, I can't control that shit. For fucks sake I give up, trying to talk sense into you guys is like trying to talk self-esteem into a fat girl.  So finally after all this bullshit, you approve everything for the last time.

And I still haven't gotten paid for almost a month since them.  You fucking assholes are relentless in your pursuit to not part with money that you owe me.  Seriously all this expense is sitting on my credit card gaining interest that you won't take into account while you decide when deign to fucking pay me.

So in conclusions, you cockbites suck so fucking bad, the only way I could properly convey your suckitude is to say that you asshole suck dick and sucking dick.

And fuck you.

And Bio-Rad.